To Turn a Phrase: People in Glass Houses…

3845035034_7066935749You know whats fun? Making fun of people behind their backs. It is all the fun of ridiculing an individual, without the hassle of dealing with a load of crap as a consequence. When a girl walks by, dressed like a three-dollar street walker, I feel entitled to turn to the person next to me and comment on her lack of moral fiber. Every bro that walks by means a new way for me to express my utter disgust and disappointment in their lives. It is hard to express the true joy I feel whenever an emo kid walks by and I can share how their presence makes me feel so much better about myself. Some will find it funny, some will find it cruel, and some will say that people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

This idiom reminds us that we should not say negative things about people when we ourselves have faults of our own. I disagree with this concept. Nobody is perfect, so are we all just going to say nice things about each other all the time? Well that’s no fun at all. There are some people out there who really are just terrible at life. I dare you to google the term furry and try to suppress your utter hatred for this group of people. Go ahead and do it, make a new tab or window and enter that word into a google search box. Go ahead…I’ll wait. While your doing that, I’m going to see if I can type the Pledge of Allegiance with my face:

v5g l vbgh3hnjgfcfgg j ju5  bgh g   j5 mjun `ccdfghb bnhygtb n  mjknb b `d  vcrfddefrgfghh nbhhnj b gbh hygfdwq23e4ty6yt56thbyuh6  nh    for all.

Oh your back? How did it go? You look a little pale…why would that be? Is it because you just witnessed a lifestyle so utterly disturbing that it made you question your belief in God? I bet you have plenty of things to say about the people you just learned about, but don’t forget that people in glass houses should not throw stones. You have faults too, so why comment on another person’s lifestyle. Not so noble an idea now is it?

Feel free to throw stones at these people... Feel free to throw stones at these people… 

Besides the fact that the idea behind this idiom is flawed, the reality behind it is also disconcerting. Do they even build glass houses? It seems like an architectural mess if you ask me. You would need some pretty thick glass in order for a house made entirely of the stuff to even try to stay erect. I don’t think it will stand the elements very well and I don’t think it will withstand the test of time. Also forget about nailing drilling anything into the walls, so good luck hanging framed pictured of you and your loved ones (whatever ones you have left. You live in a glass house and fail at life)

Ever feel like somebody is watching you? Well worry no more, because living in a glass house means that there WILL always be somebody looking at you. A glass house does not lend itself well to privacy in the slightest. Prepare to spend your days seeing people doing things you never, ever wanted to see them do. Let that thought tap dance around the inside of your skull for a bit. If you are an exhibitionist then this may be the lifestyle for you, but we all have our limits. Sometimes it is awkward to be eating breakfast and glance through the wall and see your father “on the john.”

Living in a glass house is bad enough, but why would anybody want to throw anything, much less stones? Of course people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but people who live in regular houses shouldn’t either. What are people playing indoor football with rocks? Where is my motivation to be throwing stones while I am inside? The only time I have the urge to throw a stone is when I see a hippie, but I usually see them outside because they are not allowed in my house. Ever.

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2 Comments

  1. Furries are too extreme of an example. I sort of lost sight of the article itself and just started fuming about how much I hate furries.

    Yiff in hell…

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