Jeff Silva ~ Life as a Cold Blooded Killer

By Pierce Arrow Staff on September 13, 2009

Violence in video games is nothing new. Every since the early nineties we were ripping out hearts in Mortal Kombat and dismembering Nazi’s in Wolfenstein. But in my opinion all of those games, the violence seemed to underwhelm me. Nothing looked anything like real people and the enemies were always so emotionless that I never got when people connected game to real life violence and youth crime until now. Mario games were always my favorites as a child. They were innocent, cute little games that were easy to learn, but only a few people you knew ever got to the end. I never once had regret for stomping on anyone in my path because I did not think of them as anything more than obstacles, for they had no human traits possible to relate to. That was until Yoshi’s Island.

Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island at first glance seems like a typical Mario game. You play as a cute green dinosaur named Yoshi who is carry a baby version of Mario. You move from left to right, deal with the creatures in your way and get to the goal at the end of the stage. So I stepped onto the island ready for a fun game or escapism with little to think about. But then something different about these “enemies”, they were all smiling. Not only are they all smiling but they seem to be minding there own business. Then I start really questioning myself. Am I the hero or the villain in this game. Am I just invading these creatures homelands while they are minding there own business and murdering there entire families. Then I started to really question the way I was treating these smiley animals. I had be swallowing them whole regurgitating them and projectile vomiting them at there loved ones. I had been jumping up and smashing their heads open, taking carcasses of there dead comrades and tossing them at walls, and all of this while a human baby was on my back. I was a monster.

Now I began to worry. If I was doing all of these terrible things maybe I’m not even helping this baby on my back. Maybe I’m a kidnapper. A kidnapper who tourcheres all of his victims by forces them to watch the terrible monstrosities they preform on others pleasure. As I progressed though this happy go lucky nightmare, I came across these white cloud-like creatures. When I ingested them the world around me began to alter. The music began slowing and my vision began blurring. I began to stumble around uncontrollably. Then I realized, those cloud-like creatures contained some substance that emitted hallucinogenic properties. Now I had began to use drugs to be able to mentally handle all of the mindless murder I had committed. I was at that moment a kidnapping, drug abusing, serial killer.

So next time your little sibling or kid asked you if they can play a violent game look over it yourself. Most are not as bad as they seem, though some might be worse depending on their age. But remember that I warned you to never, never let them play Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island. Unless you want them to turn out to be green dinosaurs who murder the innocent recklessly and have substance abuse issues.